What Are Some Red Flags I Should Watch Out For Now That I'm Dating Again?

Question: What Are Some Red Flags I Should Watch Out For Now That I'm Dating Again?

Answer:If you are newly divorced, you may have spent years in a marriage where you ignored all the red flags. It’s easy to make excuses for bad behavior when we are trying to make a marriage work.Now that you are single, again you need to learn to pay attention to those red flags. It will keep you from sailing, head first into disaster and another failed marriage. No matter how good looking and alluring your new “friend” may be those red flags tell the true story about who you are dealing with.It isn’t easy to walk away from a relationship. We all want to hang in there hoping things will change. That, by the way, is how most people end up in abusive relationships. I’ve put together a list of 3 red flags that should never be ignored.

Avoidance:Some people absolutely refuse to deal with an issue or problem in a relationship. They will avoid dealing with it rather than face it directly. If you find yourself in a relationship with an avoider, you will probably spend most of your time focused on finding solutions to problems in the relationship. You can bet the avoider won’t help you so, most of the responsibility for the relationship will fall on you.An avoidant requires unconditional approval of everything they do. If they don’t get it then they don’t open up with you and fully engage in the relationship. Since unconditional approval is impossible when in a love relationship, you never find yourself involved with an avoidant who is taking full responsibility for their share of the relationship. What they do is spend most of their time judging everything you do and say and then, eventually walking away.

Accountability:If you are sitting at the dinner table with your date and they go on and on about how their ex destroyed their marriage, their boss makes life at work miserable and their neighbor is the reason they have crabgrass…run, run fast!I’ve never met an abuser who held themselves accountable for their actions or anything that was happening in their lives. They tend to avoid responsibility. They find excuses and no one can hold them down to a certain standard. They break promises and never stand by agreements. When their world starts to fall apart due to their own lack of responsibility you can bet it will be someone else’s fault.

Passive-Aggressive:Originally, this military term referred to people who appeared to comply with an order yet actually undermined what they seem to be doing. They are their own worst enemy and yours also.The moment you let the passive – aggressive know you like something, get ready to start doing without it. They express their anger in a covert way. Usually by withholding things they know you want or need. They will be affectionate in the living room and cold as a fish in the bedroom. If you are expecting them at 7:30 get ready to wait until 8:00.The passive – aggressive doesn’t know how to say “that makes me angry.” They are very talented at stabbing you in the back and smiling at you the entire time. They come off as being such good people, someone who would never do anything to hurt you. All the while they are secretly punishing you and, in ways that cause you to think you might be going crazy. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who seems to be too good to be true then, they probably are too good to be true.

2011's Perfect 10 Fantasy Fashion Show

Ain't no party like a Russell Party

Christopher Lee don't want to be a Congressman!

Christopher Lee speedy exit was a little bit different from previous sex scandals that we have had seen from other congressmen or Senators what was he thinking I believed that Christopher Chris Lee does not want to be in Congress why would he do it there is no logic in it to go on craigslist and ask for extramarital affair and you know you married it just doesn't make any sense if you want a woman - certain jobs come with a women if you want one congressman, a senator ,police officer, doctor , you don't have to go on Internet and perpetrate what you are not I think is more to this than meets the eye the reason he resigned maybe it is because he been doing so much stuff that when it would have came out they would probably put him in jail so he just resign I think about it's something in the Milk is not clean. What do you think

TEN THINGS NOT TO DO on Valentine's Day - Don't be cheap and unromantic.

We’re all cutting back right now. But don’t save money at the expense of your relationship. Here are a few places where you should draw the line between being smart with your money and being a cheap and unromantic.

10. Chocolate. Yeah, this is an oldie but a goodie … unless she’s on a diet. If you are going the chocolate route, don’t cut corners by scooping up the red drugstore cardboard box. You don’t have to go extra fancy to make an impact. Find something different. Mexican chocolate doesn’t have to be expensive but it appears exotic. And if you shop after Valentines Day, please take the “SALE” sticker off.

9. Don’t be outdated. Gone are the days of the mixed tape. These days everyone is born with an iPod ear bud already installed. So get an iPod full with his or her favorite music. Don’t steal her iPod and fill it with music you think she’ll like. And whatever you do, don’t erase music she already has.

8. Cooking dinner. This is usually a good move. Get some champagne or sparkling whatever and plan something nice. Just make sure dinner is almost done before she arrives. Don’t plan on starting it as soon as she gets there hoping she’ll help you.

7. Going out is not an automatic win. Just leaving the house isn’t enough to automatically score points. If you always eat dinner at home then choose some place she has mentioned interest in going to, or do a search for cheap romantic restaurants. Stay away from the fast food restaurants and all you can eat buffets.

6. Make a memory. Go out and do something. Bring a camera (if you are one of the few people who doesn’t have one in your phone) and capture everything. This way you can do a follow-up gift of photos in a frame or a scrap book. When you’re on your death bed are you going to remember a gift someone gave you or are you going to remember that really great day you had together? There are plenty of free or cheap things you can do: go see a band she likes, go to the zoo, or have a romantic picnic in the park.

5. Get something meaningful… to HER. You really want that new snowboarding game for the Wii. Ask for it. Don’t buy it for her.

4. Just because you think it’s funny does not mean it is. Gag gifts are better left for another holiday—like April fools day. Booger flavored chocolates will not win you points in the romance department.

3. No bad poetry. Even though your sweetie is probably expecting you to scrimp on her Valentine’s Day presents this year no one actually wants a badly written poem. You don’t have to spend a lot but you should at least go pick some flowers from your neighbor’s yard (if you’re lucky enough to live in a warm climate). If you’ve been unemployed for a while put together a scrap book. Call her mother and ask her to send you her favorite teddy bear from when she was little. There’s a theme here, are you seeing it? Yes, it is the thought that counts but only if you actually do something thoughtful. So unless you are ready to break out as the next Rilke or Dr. Suess, skip the heartfelt yet nauseating prose.

2. Everyone wants a gift. Even if she swears up and down that she doesn’t want a gift get her one anyway. It’s simply the right thing to do. Think about it this way: when her co-workers ask her what she got for Valentine’s Day do you want to be the loser who didn’t get his girlfriend a gift?

1. A night with you does not count as a gift.

Steve Harvey And Ex Wife Square Off In Court

A Collins County Texas judge will hear Steve Harvey case today against his ex-wife for violating an injunction against her talking about their divorce and custody battle the ex-wife made several YouTube talking about how Steve Harvey How he cheated things he did doing the marriage which to me is right crazy because you got know if you have been been married three times you done some cheating that's not the issue you know what you got is what it is if you cheat on your wife when you're married then you can cheat again. What makes Steve Harvey think his wife ex-wife was not going to ever speak about the relationships they had because they had an agreement he got the know the bigger he got and the things that he was doing talking about relationship she could not sit back and let him get away with that it's in her DNA she is upset and she's going to talk...

Shhhh....Don't tell anybody

Can the public approval of Congress get any lower. Congressman Charlie Rangel charged with 13 counts what makes people be so greedy to be a black congressman it should be enough to make you feel as though you have arrived in life you get a nice salary , you got prestige on Capitol Hill the Capitol police works for you. You are a Congressman with a powerful position at one-time blacks was not allowed to be one. So why when you get the position you try to to make money on the side it is not necessary. What is going to happen to Charlie Rangel. President Obama's made a statement on CBS news "I think Charlie Rangel served a very long time and served his constituents very well but the allegations are very troubling and you know he's somebody who is at the end of his career 80 years old I'm sure that what he wants to be able to end his career with dignity and my hope is that it happens"
Charlie Rangel should figure out a way to retire leave Congress with some kind of hope left, take the money it is time to run but to try and fight it, no he is going to lose. If he did something wrong he needs to fess up. Another congress person Maxine Waters who is outspoken who is well-respected when you hear her speak she tries to really help black people, to be in a situation where you are now being charged with some kind of conspiracy to make money with your husband and you are going to try to fight those allegations she may lose, if she did nothing wrong than fight but if she did something wrong she should look at trying to figure out how not to be charged. I think public opinion of Congress is going down but the Democrats have to try to fix public opinion Obama has enough on his plate. The bottom line is being a black congressman Democratic Congressman you have to really look at yourself and say how is this going to affect not only myself but the president of United States who is also black. It is a different ball game step outside yourself look inside yourself and be yourself. Shhh... Don't tell anybody